Looking for a Soulmate?

What is a soulmate?

Does a soulmate equal to great sex? What if you feel connected to your soulmate but sex is lousy?

The Perfect Partner ... in your Dreams!

I have a buddy who has been telling me about his girlfriends over the years, about how they failed to meet the mark and things that I shalln't repeat here. I have never really thought further about his adventures until our recent get-together and reading of his chart. Then it hit me - his Venus is in Virgo!

Virgo -  the sign of perfection. My buddy has exceedingly high expectations of a woman. He "rates" each of his girlfriend based on an internal metric system. Virgo is also the sign of purity which he expects his girlfriends to be. erhmm, to be chaste. Put another way, the sign Virgo focuses on analysis of the fine details, or you can call it being exacting. However, expressed negatively, Virgo can express itself as being overly critical and nitpicky. 

I'm not slamming my dear friend. Absolutely not. I told him that his romantic standards seem to be out of this world and may only exist in fairy tales and perhaps be more practical and realistic about what a woman or any human being is - imperfect. 

Will a Man Drop From the Sky?

I was talking to a client earlier. Here’s the gist of the conversation:

Me: It’s likely that you will be in a relationship in the next 12 months (as Venus is making a tight conjunction on her solar return descendant amongst other considerations). That is if you direct your attention to it i.e. go on the dating scene. Consider making yourself available on dating websites, apps, etc.

Client: True (to making herself available). I prefer to wait though (i.e. wait for the guy to appear without doing anything).

Me: You might not be in a relationship then.

Client: But you mentioned that it will happen within 12 months.

Me: For fate to work, you have to participate in it. For example, if you stay at home or work the whole day, how does heavens send a guy your way even if the universe/God wants to do so? Besides, I didn’t say a relationship WILL happen. There’s the potential (for it to happen) if you make it happen.

My suggestion that she makes herself available for potential suitors is based on my view of fate. I don’t believe that we are puppets of God/the universe where events in our lives are predestined. Certainly, our birth is predestined and some portions of life is predestined but not all of it i.e. we have free will. More importantly, I see forecasting charts in astrology as showing possibilities or potential waiting to be realised, manifested or activated. If you don’t like something, you can choose to ignore it or transmute it into something else. For example, I'm advising a married woman who has say, a stellium in her 5th house of Romance comprising of Moon, Venus, Jupiter and the Sun in her solar return/transit chart. Certainly an interpretation of the stellium is that she may meet someone and have love affairs with him. But let's ssay the woman is loyal and committed to her partner. Is she doomed to committing “adultery” as that's the will of heavens? Surely not! Of course those of you who believe in the fatalistic view of fate will say that regardless (of the woman’s values and desires), heavens will send her men (or women) for her to have frolicking fun times. However, this view doesn’t make sense to me.

So, in my humble opinion, a man or woman will not drop from the sky if there’s the potential in your chart and you don’t want that to happen. If you do want that to happen, however,, you might want to deliberately go to places where you can pick them up. Unless that man could drop directly into your laps at home or in the office, right where you are – statistically speaking, what’s the odds of that happening? (unless say the ruler of Descendant or the 5th house is located in the 6th or 10th).

Note
The above conversation actually didn’t end on that note. It went on as follows:

Client: Ah, I see. But I’m not ready for anything now actually. Although I would want to enter into a relationship, but not necessarily for now. But I am glad to hear that there’s potential (for me to be in a relationship).

Me: There’s a time for everything! It’s important to follow your own timing although such obvious opportunity for a relationship may not show itself anytime soon.

Client: *Sigh*

Why Can’t I Find Love?

I was ruminating about the effects of Jupiter transits when something occurred to me.

There are periods in astrology which are fertile breeding grounds for romances and relationships and everyone go through them at various points of their lives (in astrological parlance: transits, progressions and whatever else I’m ignorant of). For example, Jupiter or Venus transiting through the 7th and 5th house. Or transiting Venus conjunct Vertex. Or something to do with Venus returns.

So, let’s say a single woman (or a man but let’s stick with a woman) is looking for love. Jupiter is currently transiting through her 7th house. So, it’s prime time for her to meet her knight on a white horse. Unfortunately, nothing came to pass. She ended up sad and lonely and goes back to an empty home after work every night. Why could that be so?

Here are some possible explanations:
As many of you know Jupiter can be a lazy planet or a planet that’s fond of delightful indulgence. So, you have to poke it and make things happen for you a.k.a. (creating and) taking advantage of all romantic opportunities that come your way. So, for the woman who’s rather introverted and waits for men to drop from the sky or stays at home everyday after work (perhaps because the bulk of her planets are in the western and northern hemisphere of her natal chart or that she has a stellium in the 12th house that she has not consciously utilised), it’s unlikely that there are opportunities for men (or women if she’s gay or bisexual) to present themselves to her. That’s why, nothing came to pass for her.

What about the woman who’s very gungho and signed up for tons of online dating sites and has all kinds of dating apps on her smartphone? Well, she has definitely actively made herself available for suitors. Wait. She goes above and beyond – she actively pursues guys or women on the dating sites and apps. So, she has created her own romantic opportunities to capitalise on the Jupiter 7th house transit. However, unfortunately, she ended up with no relationship at the end of the transit. What’s happening here? Perhaps, she has a grand trine in her natal chart comprising Venus, Neptune and Moon where she feels that love must be perfect, like the fairy tale variety (certainly, the configuration could have manifested itself differently). So, when she meets a guy/woman that she thinks is perfect and goes for a few more dates. However, she realised through the dates that the other person is a mere mortal who doesn’t fit into her ideal of love or love that provides her with tons of emotional security and comfort. What does she do? She writes off her dates and laments that age is catching up with her and why can’t she, a perfect eligible bachelorette, find love?

What I’m trying to say is that everyone has a different idea or reality of what love is. Sometimes, those ideas/ideals can unwittingly or wittingly result in us unable to find someone to spend our lives with. That's why most astrologers emphasised that when doing compatibility readings for a couple, always start with the individual. You need to understand whether the individual is capable of love or being in a relationship in the first place. If he/she is not capable or unwilling to be open to a relationship, no matter how great the potential compatibility is between the two of them, there's no relationship to speak of.

Relationships–5th or 7th house?

Grasps. As an astrologer, I shouldn’t be surprised but here’s the story:

I spent an not insignificant time in Mexico. I had *some kind* of relationship there. Naturally, I looked at the Descendant and the Descendant ruler of my relocated chart to see whether they described that relationship or the person that I was involved with. I couldn’t find anything. Nada. I was thinking whether astrology has failed me this time.

Then, it occurred to me that maybe I should be looking at the fifth house instead as that relationship wasn’t a committed one . Bingo, the cusp of the 5th house of my relocated chart described the relationship and the person to a T. In fact, the sign on the cusp of the 5th house is the Sun sign of the person.

Moral of the story: when it comes to romantic relationships, there’s a distinction between the 5th and 7th house. 7th house represents committed relationships, especially those with a legal basis e.g. marriages, engagements, civil partnership or even de facto relationships. 5th house represents non-committed ones, especially those that bring you pleasure and fun, e.g. your boyfriend/girlfriend, your dates.

Side point: interesting, Chiron is in the 7th house of my relocated chart to Mexico City. That could signify various things besides the standard meaning of being wounded, being healed or being the wounderer. Unfortunately, I didn’t live long enough in Mexico to find out how Chiron is manifested in my committed relationships.

Update on 21 April 2017
There's no differentiation between love affairs/romances and committed partnerships in horary astrology. Both are assigned to the 7th house. We just have to keep that in mind as the rules of the languages, in this case, horary astrology and modern western astrology, are different.

Never Beg Someone to Be in Your Life

Natal: "Gayness" in a Chart

Is there an indicator of "gayness" in a chart? The quick and short answer is no. 

How do you know if someone is gay or not then? Just ask them! Although you may not get a straight answer (pun intended).

However, there are some aspects of a natal chart that suggests that a person may be leaning towards the gay end of the sexuality spectrum. I used the word "spectrum" as I believe most people are not wholly straight or gay. Yes, they may be mostly of a certain orientation but most people aren't 100% straight or gay. This is based on Kinsey's studies. Oh yes, while you are at it, take the Kinsey Scale Test. 

Here's some of the aspects of a natal chart which suggests that a person is leaning towards the gay continuum:

• Mars or Venus in Aquarius: Aquarius is progressive. When paired up with Mars or Venus - the planets of sexual attraction, it suggests progressive sexual attitudes.
• Mars or Venus aspects Uranus: Uranus is similar to Aquarius - progressive and inventive. More importantly, Uranus likes to do his/her own thing, regardless of what others think. So, when Mars or Venus, the planets of sexual attraction, aspects Uranus,  these people love and make love to those that they desire.
• Moon opposition Venus: Sue Tompkins has noticed this aspect in various homosexual men and women

Notice it's impossible to say that a [fill in your own zodiac sign/Sun sign] is gay. That would be a fallacy indeed. 

Explore this subject further with ...

Transits: Changes in Your Loved Ones' Lives

The transits in our charts can indicate the changes that's going through the lives of our parents, partner and friends. 

An Enduring Love - Capricorn

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

The Perfect Partner - Virgo

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

A Stable and Sensual Partner - Taurus

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

Someone who Thinks the World of You - Leo

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

A Love Adventure - Sagittarius

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

The Love of Your Life - Aries

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

Someone who Loves You Just the Way You Are - Cancer

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

The Person of Your Desires and Passion - Scorpio

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

Who is Your Soulmate? - Pisces

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

Someone to Share Your Thoughts and Talk to - Gemini

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

Your Other Half - Libra

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them. 

Your Special Friend - Aquarius

I believe every relationship has the potential to work. There are some relationships which just flows and don't seem to need too much work while there are others where you sweat, fight and invest your soul and energy to make it work. I have seen the latter case where the couples get married. And these couples wouldn't have it any other way. They love each other dearly and "work" is just part of the deal for them. Also, there are some couples where things are too "smooth" for them and they broke up eventually as the relationship was too dreamy for one or both of them.