The Love Story of Orpheus
As retold by me…
Once upon a time, there was a man called Orpheus. He was a great musician and poet. His songs made people cry buckets of tears. He met a great woman called Eurydice. She was everything that he could hope for. He finally proposed to her and she accepted it. On their wedding day, after exchanging their vows, Eurydice went for a walk with her girlfriends. She was so happy that she didn’t look at where she was going and stepped on a snake. The poor frightened snake bit Eurydice on her foot. She was in great pain as if someone had given her an injection on her backside. The girlfriends started to scream and sob. Unfortunately, nobody heard them. The venom was very quick acting and Eurydice died. What was a joyous day turned out to be sad and depressing. Orpheus was heartbroken that his wife had died. He has heard of stories where the dead came back alive after Grim Reaper released their souls from hell. He loved Eurydice so very much. He would go to hell to rescue his wife!
In those days, the hell was ruled by Pluto and Persephone – the king and queen of hell. They were very tough and strict. Their view was that once a soul had entered their realm, they shouldn’t be allowed back to earth. Orpheus pleaded with them. They said no. Orpheus begged them to release Eurydice. They said no. Finally, Orpheus sang his heart out. It was the most touching and moving song of Orpheus and Eurydice’s love. The scales on Pluto and Persephone’s heart cracked and fell. They were moved by Orpheus and agreed to let Eurydice go back with Orpheus on a condition – Orpheus would not look at Eurydice until she was back on earth. Otherwise, she would vanish before his eyes and that’s the end. In other words, “Game over”.
On the way back to earth, Orpheus was relieved and thanked his lucky stars. He couldn’t wait to be with his wife and do all the things that the newly weds would typically do – go for a honeymoon, drink themselves crazy and have a lot of sex. However, underneath all those thoughts was doubt – was the soul that he was bringing back to earth his wife or someone else? If it was someone else, he would be stuck with someone that wasn’t his wife!
He finally reached the entrance to hell with the soul behind him. He thought to himself, surely it doesn’t matter if I had a peak at the soul, just to confirm that it’s his wife? He took a peak. Lo and behold! It was his wife indeed! However, his wife started to vanish before his eyes. Orpheus panicked and started to grasp Eurydice who vanished into thin air. He was devastated. “Fuck me” he thought to himself. “Why the hell did I peep at my wife when I was told not to do so? What a silly billy am I!”
Sadly, he couldn’t do anything else and returned to earth.
