The individual (with a Venus-Pluto aspect) needs to trust that another person will really love them – and all of them, not just their beauty, their sex-appeal, their power or their money. The lesson for the type is often to learn to risk giving the other person enough space to find out if they really do care, enough space to discover if they will hang around even if they don’t have to. - Tompkins from Aspects in Astrology
For those where the above quote is speaking to you, the author is not wrong – one has to “learn to risk” to love, without this compulsive need to control (the outcome). To learn to let go of the need to manipulate or compulsively desire that somebody. It is what the quote by Gibran says “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours.If they don’t, they never were.”